the lyric, it is in my head. because it seems fitting.

and i know you will be waiting, oh i know you will be waiting, waiting there for me.

we still talk almost every night.

she's often the last voice i hear before i fall asleep. and sometimes, i'm the last voice she hears.

sometimes on the same night.

but she's 1600 miles away. and i have to keep reminding myself of that. 1600 miles away. she'll come back for three months and then be 1600 miles away forever.

then there is her voice in my ear, late at night, laughing, listening to me, telling me this and that about her day.

telling me she loved the package i sent to her because it was great.

and i just want to grab her and hold her and ask her what the hell she's feeling for me, for us, for anything.

im afraid.

im damn afraid she'll come back in may and break my heart completely.

that i will be stuck here, only 60 miles away, not seeing her because it would make things easier on her.

less stressful if i don't come around.

less stressful because we both want to be there, with each other, but we're both afraid of touching accidentally or saying the wrong thing, letting it just slip out when we really just mean to say "hey, pass the ketchup."

the torch light either has to flicker and fade out or go home to a strong fire.

and i just want to know im going home soon.