the nurse came into the room, i rolled up my sleeve, she moved over to take my blood pressure. she looked, she said "your arms are tiny. this will wrap right around it. i need a new one. hold on."

and i wanted to say "these arms haven't always been this tiny."

i wanted to say "i've lost between twenty and thirty pounds these past four months."

i came home today, after being out with friends, after eating because part of me feels like i'll never be full, i came home and i went to my room and i laid down, half under some covers, half under a quilt, propped by pillows, and it made my body stop.

it made everything in me stop and line up and i realized i have a headache. i have a sore back.

it made me realize i am tired.

tomorrow i get to sleep for as long as i feel necessary.