there is a feeling of confusion in the air. the village's uncertain future seems almost physical by the look upon these people's faces.

ah me.

i've banished kim, slightly, from my life. it's the second day. i don't know how long this will last, how long i'll be able to hold out, seeing as how i've talked to her at least three times a week for over two years.

but i'm tired of hurting and being angry and i have no idea what the right course of action is.

so i'm not going to talk or be around her until i feel like i'm stronger.

or maybe im just doing this to prove to myself that she's not a vital part of my life, and i can walk away at any time.

who's to say.

i wrote emily an email about it. about how i don't know if im doing the right thing, and how i don't know if i should've gotten over this a long time ago, and blahblahblahblah. and how emily came along. and how she makes me feel incredibly lucky. makes me feel like i'm worth something out there to someone.

she wrote me back.

what she said made me smile.

she talked about stuff i never really expected her to say.

stuff about how she could see having a family with me.

and something along the lines of wanting to punch kim in the face after hearing some of the stuff she had said to me.

pretty much, all stuff that makes it harder for me to move away from the idea of giving up hope that maybe something will happen, in the future, with emily and i.