it continues to cause me slight confusion.

i don't know what will happen in december when she returns.

she said she would be all for a physical relationship if she thought i could handle it.

she doesn't think i can, seeing as how i'm a closet romantic.

and she's right. about the closet romantic part.

but the physical part.

yeah, i miss it.

and she's admitted to missing it, too.

i looked out the window today to a world that, for a little while this week wasnt raining, wasnt humid as hell, was just perfect gazebo weather.

i looked out and thought about emily. about how she's handling things with a strength i envy.

about how things feel when i talk to her, how she makes me laugh, how she laughs when i'm being an ass.

im still trying to feel things out inside, i guess.

i don't know where it'll go.

oh, the interview, i think it went well. they said they'd call me back next week and even wrote down their number for me, again, just in case, and made sure they had my cell phone.

so i'm hoping maybe that's a good sign.

but they also said a little bit about promoting within and travelling to different states.

so maybe, maybe there's something brewing in the direction of west in a year or so.

if i get this job and if i'm good at it.

we'll see.