later, one of the guys involved came up to me and accused me of singling him out.

we got into a big discussion over it.

he got my name, walked away.

i was pretty damn angry after all that.

and when i get angry in a way i can't express the way i want to because i'm supposed to be polite and professional, i get really frustrated.

which leads to me shaking.

i shook for most of the night.

then i was given some information that has me doubting myself and a good friend.

things should be resolved soon, in one way or another, and i should be able to talk to her about everything, but i want to talk now.

and i want to apologize for doubting her.

my sister and three other people went to six flags for the weekend.

at first, beth was supposed to go with them, but then she got in trouble and so couldn't drive them.

then my sister asked me if they could borrow my car.

one of the people going was kim. back, a while ago, kim and i had talked about going to six flags together.

i told kim no, i wasn't going to let them use my car because i would always hold it over them, that i did this for them and blahblahblah.

so then my sister called up another friend of her's. brandy.

she told brandy she was inviting her just because she could drive them all up there.

brandy said okay. and has gone with them.

they then turned around and told beth she couldn't go. their reason for telling her this, they told me, was because "beth's been bitching the enitre time." "bitching how?" "well, she was all 'are we really going? i need to know so i can know about switching my hours.' and everything."

and i just thought... that's not bitching. that's a real concern.

but i didnt say anything about it.

i told kim that i'm really disappointed in them. they're using someone and ignoring someone else.

i need to take a shower now.

might have a long day in front of me.

full of emotion and blood.

also yesterday was two months for us.