ended up staying to talk to her about emily.

asked her if, honestly, she thought there was something there or if i was just being myself and reading way too deeply into our interactions.

she said no, no. there's something there. we're different around each other.

giddy and flirty, is what she said.

she's offered to talk to emily for me.

i asked her if she would present me as a good person. and she said of course.

i started shaking tonight. im not sure why. i was holding up a box of crayons and the box was trembling and i could feel it in my arms.

when i sat down, later, and put my arm on the armrest, there was trembling there, too.

17 more days until my birthday.

do i really want to get involved with someone who's leaving in a few months and has said she doesn't want to come back here?

who has also said that i'm a reason to come back here.

4 months. its such a short time to end up being a million and three states away.

five day drive.

i need to just talk to her about it.

either do something or not.

because this, although it's good and keeps me a bit excited and happy, this is getting neither of us anywhere.

especially because i'm going to have to be the one to make the first move.

because i honestly don't think she'll believe that i like her unless it's coming from me.

saved a grasshopper today from my cat.

because i am a very caring person, you see.

the grasshopper, though, fell in love with me and wouldn't leave my palm.

it just sat there, contently.

i had to break up with it. i feel bad and all, and i told it it was me and not it.

i still wanted to be friends.

but then the grasshopper ran away.

eh, hopped away.

i can only wish it a warm, fulfilling life.

it deserves it.