i think kim has decided something. or realized something. or accepting something.

something along the lines of that i'll be one of the few people in her life that'll always be there, if she doesn't kill me with the hurt first.

that, if she'll let me, it'll be unconditional.

not just for her, but for anyone i care about. because that's the only way i want to know how to love someone.

and i think she realized that she won't get that from many people. especially after everything we've been through.

she's put me through.

and so she told me that she wants to be my friend, again. that shes ready for it now.

i'm not so sure how much to believe her. i want to believe her, and a lot of me does believe her, but i also know i'll have to sit back and see.

and i have to admit, it's a good feeling, for once being the one in the friendship that's hesitating. thats just watching for a while.

im hungry.

im also becoming extremely nervous about wednesday. not sure if its a date, or if its just two friends, or if she is even hoping maybe ill sweep her off her feet and convince her she wants it to be a date.

she knows im a closet romantic. she knows i want to spend a lot of time with her this summer.

we'll see.

right now im sleepy and hungry.

so im going to eat and sleep.

indeed.