for the last two days i've worked, i've worked with dirty hands.

soap gets the top layer off. the stuff stuck under my nails stays until i focus in on them in the shower.

friday night she complained about a machine.

i've been stripping it down, using wrenches and pliers and my fingers to twist and convince it.

i've got it almost half fixed. i'm stuck, now, not knowing what to do.

the only thing i can think of trying, now, is flipping upside down, getting into the machine, and trying to fix it from the inside out. it seems possible, but i dont know how ill handle all the blood flooding to my head.

however, to get it fixed, to have her come in and quietly show it to her, it would be worth it.

i won't get another crack at it until late friday night, so i'm hoping maybe, somewhere in the back of my head, an idea will form to help me finish fixing it.

i'm still half working on fixing a light set up for someone else. it looks like i might be forced into buying a whole lighting system, when all i need is a little ledge. if i had money (i'm getting paid tomorrow) i would just buy some random stuff to experiment with.

but now i actually have to be wise.

actually... i think i just figured out what to get. maybe. i'll have to look at them when i get back to the apartment.

i've got a month to finish that.

then there's the faucet i've completely forgotten about. it looks like all that needs is a washer. i'll look at that, again, on saturday. maybe friday night.

so many things falling apart, breaking down.

and i only know how to fumble silently until i stumble on the right idea.

then i just point it out to someone, say see, it's fixed.

i wish things were that easy.