last night i had this dream wherein i applied for another job, and then went to work at this other store, unsure of if i was still supposed to be working there or not.

but that's not what i'm here to talk about.

i feel more confident within myself than i have in a while.

but still, still, deep in me i feel this piece of me that wants to hold on, wants to keep the faith that one day she'll be laying next to me, again.

and so i'm going to ask her tonight. it wasn't too long ago she said it would be nice if i waited. i'm going to ask if there's still enough hope there for me to be confident in waiting.

because right now, the way i've felt these past few days, it makes me feel like i can wait it out, if she needs me to.

and the way i've felt also makes me feel that if she doesn't need me to wait it out, i can move on.

and i've finally come to the solid conclusion that either way, no matter what happens, we're going to end up being stronger, better friends because of all this.

she's put up with a lot of shit from me. a lot. i don't say it all here, not a fraction of what goes on, but i want to finally say i'm starting to be me again.

i'm starting to feel like i can charm a crowd, and not just one person at a time.

but we'll see, we'll see how it all goes tonight.

think a bit, for me. and send vibes my way giving me a bit more strength to realize that even if it may not be what i want, it may be what is right.

so.

yes.

love and hope and everything, good things, but they're nothing without faith.

and i'm starting to find that again.

so let's just hope i can keep it up.