and not even lied to about anything big. just lied to.

and so now i've spent all day, thinking, trying to remember if i've ever lied to her.

i know i havent told her the whole truth about some things, like what my dreams contain.

i didn't tell her that, in the first dream i had with her in it, the way she ate really turned me on.

i had a dream, another dream, with her in it this morning. a guy was trying to pick her up. he asked what she thought about marriage.

she answered and then made eye contact with me.

lies happen. vagueness, incompleteness. it happens.

but what hurts the most is knowing that, because of the lies or the vagueness or the incompleteness, i can't help her.

i have a long night in store for me. a long night. it's made even longer by the fact that i won't hear from her again until tomorrow morning.

on a completely different note:

the back of my pants are wet. but i'm still walking around in public with them on.