in six days i will be another year older, officially.

right now i feel more than a year older. i've aged a lot since august of 2000.

that's when i'm going to mark things as changed from now on.

august of 2000.

i went to the hospital. my grandfather went to the hospital. the girl went to boston.

went went went.

always going.

my grandfather died in march. my dog died... i dont remember when he died.

i dont remember dates now.

october flowed into november and i opened my eyes and it is the 20th.

where does the time go?

when did moments stop being moments?

there are moments. yes. there are moments with kim. there are moments of peace. there are moments of sleep.

but there arent moments. there arent times i can say, yeah, i remember three weeks ago because of this.

ask me where the girl is, and i dont know.

so many people have gone.

and so many people have come.

and im tired, but my days not over. and im tired, but my years not over. and im tired and i dont believe in time.

not right now.

right now all i believe in is those few moments that do exist. that connect me from this point to the last time kim was with me to the last time my sister punched me to the last time my grandfather told a joke to the last time she hugged me to the last time i believed in santa claus.

in 6 days it'll be halfway to my birthday. halfway to another year older.