this is not to say i fall IN LOVE with them. not the serious type of in love.

just twitterpated, i guess.

i have fallen in love with kim.

twitterpated. i watched her with her 16 month old sister. i watched her talk about her 16 month old sister, later. i have driven her around and listened to her talk.

i know she is not trying to impress anyone. or impress me. i know she is just herself.

and so i am twitterpated.

because she does not realize what she holds within her.

twitterpated.

the subject has been brought up recently. polyamorous relationships.

when i think of being in one, i see this setup:

me. guy. girl.

never:

me. girl. girl.

and i know i could never be in a multiple person relationship. because, as is my nature, i focus on one person.

i love the world, yes. i would love the guy, i would love the girl, i would love the other girl, yes. or else i wouldnt be in that relationship.

but i would focus in on one person.

and so it wouldnt work. because i couldnt love evenly. i cant spread. that way.

i can be twitterpated as hell.

but come the end of the night, the end of a day that has gone on for too long, the moment where i can start to stop so i can start to rest.

i want to go home to one person. not two, not four.

just one.

yes, i might come home to kids one day.

then the numbers will go from one to four to whatever.

and god if i won't love those kids.

but.

but they will not be one.

ah.