with the guy she is sort of dating.

and robin.

and all that was alright.

we spent four and a half hours together.

i havent laughed that much in weeks. i love each of them now for that, and would gladly die for them if they asked.

that's all it takes, you know. make me laugh so hard i clap.

i'm a dork, you know. when i reach a certain point, i clap once or twice while i laugh. i can't help it, i just do it.

but its a sign that im really having fun.

and i really had fun.

we went to waffle house, at one point. and robin bought the hat off of our waiter. five dollars.

the cook liked us, gave us thin paper waffle house cook hats.

i am in love with people, all over again.

not that i ever fell out of love with people, but it got to the point where i needed fresh blood in my life. and i have it now.

i have a growing circle of friends.

not people i know. but friends.

and i love them. i am excited by them. i am inflamed with passion by them.

or, at least, some of them.

heh.

but now to quickly sober up, because my thoughts are like flights of fancy gone horribly awry:

in my dream, during my nap today, i drowned.

i died. in my dream. this has never happened to me before, that i remember.

my soul has been taken, and i didnt care, but never have i died.

and i remember there, hanging on the branch, feeling the rain pounding on me, the lightning, and thinking this will be how it is supposed to be. and letting go.

not finding the energy, in me, to continue holding on.

to end on a completely unrelated note:

according to my new thirft shirt, i am the world's greatest dad.

i might have mentioned this before, but im really proud of this new accomplishment in my life.

thank you and sleep well.