for an hour.

only an hour because i promised to be there for dinner.

and i was there for dinner. i didnt eat with them, they didnt eat with me, but i was there for dinner.

part of me was going to the grandfathers grave, although i have no idea where it is. i know the beginning thirty or so miles, after that, im lost.

i fall asleep on the drives to graves. the first time drive to graves. i just shut down, slumped against the car window, and wake every now and then, finally waking up when we pull into the place.

i did it with my sister's funeral, as well as my grandfathers.

in my dream last night the girl left to cry and laugh at the same time, i wound up on a bus to visit her, but decided not to, because she didn't know i was coming.

wound up in this building where i was going to work, but before i could really start to work a side of the building became a church with shaky faithed people in it.

as they were picking up their bibles this girl ran out of the place, i ran out after her, yelling her name, asking her to stop, telling her i needed to talk to her.

i asked her. she told me. i told her.

she went into the shower in a tiny bathroom.

i woke up.

i think my dog's dragging his hind right leg.

my dog... my dad's dog, that is.

he had cancer on his front leg, had to have a toe cut off, a few years ago.

he's older than my sister, which means he's older than 16.

and he still seems happy to me.

he's taught me a lot of lessons.