i laid in bed, propped on an elbow, as i watched the drunker of the two apologize for waking me up.

she had lost her keys, misplaced them, who knows what happened, and needed a place to sleep.

i told the sober one to get her to drink water.

she drank water.

she told me that she would not puke in my room.

i told her i wasnt worried about that and she shouldnt be either.

they fell asleep, i fell asleep. they woke up, waking me.

i fell back asleep.

the now sober one apologized to me, about waking me up.

as she was apologizing i woke up.

and laughed, because she had to apologize again.

they left, i went back to sleep.

a haven of sorts isnt it.

drunk and sober whirlwinds blow in and out and i sleep.

i woke up to my dad calling, leaving a message on the answering machine.

i woke up to remembering her saying that she misses me, even when im right here.

i woke up to thinking that it's not right for me to feel like this, this worn down, this tired, when im this young.

and now i am awake.

no one drunk or sober within spitting distance.

tightness in the back.

and a half hearted attempt at moving forward.

this is no little diddy about jack and diane.

and i dont wish i had jessies girl.

i just dont want to be a hero. or stoic. or strong. or an angel. or devoted. or bethroved.