i dont know where we're going from here.

i asked her where she wants to go from here, and she wants to change this shit between us.

as do i.

for a brief brief moment i thought maybe she was going to pull away completely. and that thought scared me.

we will talk again tonight, but im not sure how thatll go. what ill say, other than the truth.

which leads me to wonder what the truth is.

i love her, yes. i think i might still be in love with her. i never understood why she attached herself to me, of all people. i let her pull away.

did i know she was hurting?

i should have. i should have.

did she realize she was pushing me away?

she was pushing everyone away. but never in the world meant to push me away.

but she did. and i let her.

because i thought thats what she wanted.

low self image, you see.

time must pass. more and more im becoming a patient one.

but i dont know how im going to wait this one out.