i would give it all up for you to not have to work as hard as you do. and you would tell me not to because you need to work as hard as you do. weve talked about this. its a test. right?

i am now making names:

the girl: the girl. simple as that. complex as that. the one who fills me out.

kiwi: the one i gave a ring to. mock proposal. girl i am extremely attracted to. girl who confuses the hell out of me.

colon: one of the best literary devices.

ha, i crack me up.

i am... i am crayon. i make things more complicated than they should be.

i wish you were here. i wish you were talking to me. i wish i had sung for you, if only once. i wish you would tell me you think i'm being an idiot.

i know you're thinking something along those lines. why i let myself do this, why i let myself sit to be hurt.

and i wish you were there with me, to see the way she responds to me, with me, and how, when its happening, i become the idiot. i want you to see how i dont know whats real and whats not.

i want to know youll be there when my heart gets broken, which i feel coming.

i want you to know i know you'll be there.

"courting the uncourtable." she said about me. and you agreed.

and i agree.

i wish you were here.