brings back so many memories.

there was that time i left the glove outside overnight. this big all white siberian husky with two different colored eyes took it.

beautiful dog.

but, yeah, the dog took it. i had to walk down the street and knock on his owners' door. they sort of chuckled at me.

glove wasnt any worse for wear though.

ohh, but i didn't learn from that experience.

i left my next glove out overnight. and a monsoon hit. i looked for it the next morning, because i had practice after school (varsity all four years baby) and realized, yup, left it ouside.

must have weighed ten pounds from all the water it soaked up.

my dad took it, set it in the front of his car all day. after school he dropped it off, it was still wet.

glove was never the same after that.

and that's the glove next to me now.

damn attached to this glove. pretty much because it's a horrible glove that no one else likes.

the inside of it is torn up. horribly. if it goes a day or two without use it starts drying up and the leather inside sort of gets rough.

but i say once you start, once you start catching and fielding and everything, its fine.

but everyone else disagrees.

and they have no idea what they're talking about.

heh.

mother nature and mother earth are two of the three women who dictate what im worth.

but, yeah, there's just something about putting a glove on.

all you baseball and softball people know what im talking about.

that same feeling you get when walking onto the field after a week off or a season off or something. that tingle in your stomach, that rush of blood to your feet and your hands.

the smell of the field.

and all the regrets.

because if you love something, some sport, there are always regrets. that time you didnt practice as long as you should of, that weekend tournament you only placed second in.

i miss it all like hell. i miss the team mates, the game, the split second thinking, the... everything.

i even miss the slight fear of serious damage happening. of being cleated, of someone landing on me the wrong way after a slide, a misthrown ball from the pitcher.

the biggest fear i had was something happening to my knees. i fucked with them when i was younger, so they didnt grow right, and by the end of my high school career they were showing signs of age. that last year i was so sure i would get them crushed.

but i never did.

so woohoo on that part.

but, yeah, there was a point to this, and i dont know how i got off into my knees, but the point is as follows:

tomorrow i am going to go to a batting cage, even if it's only an outside one and even if it is 8 degrees outside. i need that feeling again.