things are fading out, now, but at the beginning i remembered i had done something a long time ago. started up an organization.

and there was more. a big green pick up truck that was mine. not doing what i needed to do. trying to remdy that, but being wanted by the police and by some kind of mob. red neck cocaine dealers. but a woman who believed in me and loved me made all the difference. and a monkey who was damn smart. rain rain rain. i got away.

incoherent mess i send to you because all that matters is that i feel it. and i feel it. and she loved me and saved my life.

talked to the siter last night. she is dating a redneck high school drop out who works two jobs. she is thinking she wont date him for much longer. and, although i was laughing at her and making fun of her and everything, she says hes smart.

i dont know. my sister can do much better than a high school drop out.

and much much better than a red neck high school drop out.

i had this little goat in my jacket pocket last night. as a good luck charm. friend from wisconsin sent it to me, but thats another story.

i took it out and was playing with it. held it up to my sister. said "look, its my goat. HE graduated high school and now goes to bovine university."

and i laughed. cause bovines are cows. oooh ho ho i am a sly funny one.

but my sister kicked me.

and then she asked to see the goat, so i said sure, handed it to her.

she promptly put it IN HER MOUTH.

i started laughing, cause that was a crayon move. ah has she learned from me.

so she pulled it out, said "you know, i didnt actually think i would do that."

made her wipe it off before i would take it back.

told the girl this story. told her i made her wipe it off.

the girl goes "heh, yeah, you gotta keep a little authority there, dont you?"

"yes ma'am, i run a tight ship."