yeah, i just talked to becca.

and damn if we're not going to do something tonight, or this weekend.

and i found al's number, so im going to have to call her.

again, that is. i called her earlier, right when i found it, but all i got was an answering machine. im hoping maybe shes got caller id, because i didnt leave a message, yeah im one of those people, but if i dont get a call by... ah... whenever becca calls me again, ill call her up, see if shes actually in town or not.

i really want to do something tonight. with becca. or just with someone i havent seen in a long time. or with the sister.

im in an incredible mood right now. ive been fed, i took a shower, and i talked to her.

and when i say i took a shower i mean i took a shower.

soap all over the place. im all clean and nice smelling and i even rubbed in some baby lotion just for an extra aww factor.

oh, yeah, and im gonna put in my contacts.

ill be unstoppable like that. feel the charm and the charisma and the pure animal... animalness about me.

the animal, of course, being a penguin.

and you know, becca's not the girl. though i realize she might sound like it sometimes. becca's just this beautiful person who comes damn close to matching the girl.

which sounds wrong, so let me try it again. the girl is incredible in the way she is actually a part of me now, and how damn nice shes been to me, how stunned i am with her always, basically how she just has me.

and becca, becca's one the most amazing people ive ever met. strong values, open minded, funny.

and the constant difference between the girl and every other person ive ever met is the safety, trust, openness i feel with her.

and how becca almost matches her is in that aspect. we havent talked, in person, since the end of may, but weve spoken on the phone, through the email. and im just bein honest with her.

not as honest as with the girl, but more honest than i am with a lot of people.

so i enjoy that. i enjoy becca.

she makes me smile.

god but i want to do something right now.

i get cabin fever way too easily.

heh, i might have to call crazy al sooner than planned.

i was rereading some stuff people wrote me a while back. brought back some memories and made me realize ive known some great people in my day and how damn lucky i am to have met them and was able to grow to call them a friend.

yeah, im all thankful and sappy and penguinesque.

its the crayon for you.

yall better watch out for later tonight, or tomorrow, because thats just going to be a ball of thankfulness.

huge lopsided tin foil ball. made of tin foil. in ball form.

and now... now im gonna go just... be.

with a smile on my face.