for the pure sake of running.

i havent done that in such a long time.

it felt good.

i surprised myself with the length i was able to go.

i also walked through some puddles.

heh, i do that quite often.

good freaking lord i so need to go to the bathroom...

whoo.

as i walked to the bathroom (heh, more like trotted, but please, allow me to keep some dignity) i glanced out the window.

its a beautiful view.

granted, its not acres of grass or rivers or mountains or amber waves of grain or anything, but still.

when its night and the street lights hit the pavement just so and...

damn.

thats all ive gotta say.

that, and i cant wait for the first snow. i wanna see that.

i think it'll prove to be soul numbing, like a sudden thrust into a barrel of ice water.

in a good way.

i can see stars here. more stars than ive seen in a while.

ive got a dream house set up in my mind.

its out in the country. backed away from the road. trees. big yard. open spaces. windows. big screened in porch. fire place.

when its night there, its dark.

its something i keep in the center of me, this house, this place of my own, a place to share with someone, my home. i keep it in the center of me and it directs me and pulls me and pushes me all at the same time.

when i travel i extend myself and feel if i can live there.

ive only gotten the i can live here vibe in... a few places.

out where the grandparents live. northern louisiana. chattanooga. maryland.

so thats a goal of mine, i spose. that house.

and what, hopefully, will be in that house one day.

true story: i cant recall if i ever ate a banana peel or not.

i dont think i did.

but we dont know.

heh, oh, yeah, by the by, i think some people think i'm methodist.

nothing wrong with that, mind you.

its just, well, im not religious.

i havent been to church in god knows (heh, woo, he sure does) how many years.

however i am currently on some kind of ballot at a methodist rec center or whatever.

how that happened, i do not know.

quick song:

how does her world spin without me in her nest... could there really be such happiness...

why do people falter in the belief that theres someone out there that wants to sweep them off their feet?

it will happen.

i dont question that anymore.

well, much.

theres someone out there, someone i'll be able to wake up beside in the middle of the night and hear breathing next to me. someone wholl accept one hand picked daisy long before a dozen roses from some store.

and ill be damn lucky when i find her.

as it were, ill just rest the daisy on my desk and continue strolling along with my hands stuffed in my pockets and my mind elsewhere.