well, no. not even that. but i will have said:

i've fallen for you.

between lines of... whatever else.

we shall see how she responds, eh?

she leaves for boston in two days.

i didnt take my pill this morning.

im prolonging taking the pill.

ive only got two left.

im afraid what will happen in a few days.

maybe the disease whatever has gone away eh.

i want to be a french frog.

i'd walk around going oui-bbit.

cmon now, how can you not love the crayon eh.

see, thats me pumping myself up.

im into eh today. as opposed to yo.

eh and yo, quite the interchangable words in the crayon land.

i should eat lunch. eh.

heh.

one of the best lines i've read recently:

"and suddenly the place overwhelmed my soul, as an ant drowns in a river."

im not fond of dickens.

that line wasnt from dickens, by the by.

my grandfather. i dunno. in, out of the hospital. dehydrated? maybe. we'll pretend as much, at least.

i took him his will.

sometimes it manages to hit that part inside of you that... that constantly hurts because it is so young, so immature. that part is so open and trusting and believes in magic and then you hand someone their will.

its a shot right to it.

constant shots leave it on its knees, maybe one palm on the ground, maybe throwing up, maybe kidneys hurting.

but then there's a bird crossing at the crosswalk, waiting for the sign to change.

and you're able to stand again.

if you are going to teach that everyones equal, you need to really do it. you cant say "everyones equal, but gays" or whatever.

its that but that leaves the child wondering.

everyone's equal, but for an exception.

if there's one exception, then there must be more.

then everyones not equal.

and, yes, there are varying degrees of talent and money and love among us that make everyone not so equal in that sense, but there, under it all, lie the basic... things... that make everyone equal.

the right to marriage. the right to religion. the right to choice.

everyone has these rights.

im not being... eloquent right now.

im tired.

mans goal in life is the pursuit of leisure, a la brave new world but not quite.

eden was a place of leisure.

utopias are places of leisure.

communism cries for everything equal, including the work. people dont want to work. they want the opition of doing this and this until they have enough to switch to pure leisure.

a train of thought i need to think through.

by the by, i am not a communist, however much my dad be cries me as one.

he calls everything a commie.

including my dog.

time to eat. take a nap.