I think it is shitty that you didn't let me decide that you were too big of a mess.

I think it is ridiculous that you think that just because you have a ton of complications that someone wouldn't want to be a part of that.

I don't know what would happen if we tried. I don't know if it would last or if we would end up yelling at each other. I don't know if, one night, late, we would argue quietly (so not to wake your roommate) and I would leave. I don't know if you would call me on my way home and say it wasn't working. I don't know if, one day, my thumb would be tracing over the soft cotton that covers the small of your back as we laugh with friends at our reception.

I don't know.

All I know is that, for the first time in I don't know how long, I wanted to try. I wanted to find out.

I wanted to get invested. I wanted to slowly learn about your complications, I wanted to see if I could fit in and ease things. I wanted to make you laugh when you wanted to cry.

I wanted to try.

And it wouldn't have been a hassle. There's absolutely no way it would have been a hassle.

I don't know what's going on. I do know that you are funny, you are smart, you are a great story teller, you are beautiful. I do know that your taste in music is amazing.

I... If I could have said anything, without feeling weird or awkward or clumsy, I would have said this:

If you ever feel like you're too complicated, too messy, too much of a hassle, contact me. I will always be around to tell you how extraordinary you are and how much you're worth the effort. And I would expect nothing in return, I would be happy in knowing that I could make you smile.