Maybe not.

This is what happened:

Kelly invited me to a Christmas party. I figured hell, I didn't have anything else to do. So I went to the party and BAM there was this new/strange kid hanging out that I immediately knew was there because they were into Kelly. But I held my judgement.

Sat back. Watched. And yeah, flirting all over the place, they both got drunk, started holding hands, blah blah blah, and all I could think was...

Really? In front of me? Really? After all that bullshit about not wanting a relationship right now. Right.

So I left.

That drive home was like a burden had been lifted. I realized I was single. Completely single and it was ridiculous to feel beholden to a girl who couldn't even not flirt in front of me.

When we broke up we came back together. I wasn't ready for anything, but she wanted me. Then I got more to where I was willing to work with her, but she didn't want anything because she needed to fix some stuff in her life.

So I said sure, we'll wait, work it out together, work together.

But seeing her flirt in front of me made me realize that she was lying. All this time, just a big fat lie. All she wanted was attention from somewhere, and now that she could get it from multiple people at once, why be tied down? And I don't fault her for that. I do fault her for not being honest with me or herself about it.

So The next day she asked me to hang out with her. I said yeah, at first, then said no, it was probably better that I didn't.

She asked why.

I told her that it was because I didn't want to say something mean. I didn't want to hurt her by being angry, because I was angry with her being selfish like that.

That I needed time and space and she could flirt with whoever she wanted now.

A few days pass and she contacted me again, saying "the thought of you being with someone else makes me sick." And, people, it took all I had in me not to say something wrong or mean or anything.

I said "yeah, how do you think I feel?"

We talked some more and she said "so you're giving up on me?"

I said yeah. For now.

Then Christmas day she contacted me again. Said she's trying to respect my wishes, she made a mistake, blah blah blah. Told her yeah, but I don't know what else to do.

And then this week I check her facebook and the kid from the Christmas party had made some flirty comment and I couldn't help but think "really? You want me to keep me in your life but you're still doing this shit?"

SSooo now I'm kinda trying to talk this girl maybe? Kinda? I don't know. I'm bad at picking up signals. I am pretty awesome so it's not unreasonable she just wants to be friends with a hero.