In the mean time, baby, right on, right on

Mother mother, everybody thinks we're wrong but who are they to judge us...

Ah, sorry, got a little Marvin Gaye in my soul this morning.

But really, this is the summation of my life right now:

I work 40+ hours a week at a job I mainly don't like these days (except for the kids) because my boss is ridiculous and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I'm thinking of quitting and going to substituting full time OR working at a bank for the decent hours.

I also go to school on my only off days, and have been doing this for the past year. I'm thinking of cutting back next semester, though, and only going to school one day, giving me at least one legit day off.

And the women, OH THE WOMEN, throwing themselves at me left and right and leaving me going "oh, baby, not tonight, I know I look like hard, cold, steel, but I really am just made of bone and flesh and am weak" and then I make a sad face and they give me a puppy.

And all that might or might not be a lie, I'll leave it up to you to decide.

But for reals yo this is what's been happening:

Kelly and I were fine for a while, doing our own separate thing, then she decided she wanted to be with me, I decided I wasn't ready to be with her, then I decided to give it a shot, then she decided she wasn't ready and needed to handle "some issues" first BUT still wanted to come spend the night with me (not sexually, just cuddling, but, you know, not wussy like cuddling) and I was fine with that.

Except that this kept happening:

She would come over, get a phone call, someone crazy talking stupid, so I would say "go make sure they don't hurt themselves" or some bull shit and she would leave and come back 4 hours later after hanging out in a bar.

Or she would make plans with me and then call at the last minute cancelling because she didn't feel like being around anyone.

Or she would make plans with me, then tell me she would be on her way, and then call me an hour later saying she couldn't do it.

Or, and this was last night, she would come over and then just sit in her car for thirty minutes, just talking on the phone.

This is the thing: I understand that her friends are going through some legit shit right now (maybe, I think her friend is seriously crazy and making up diseases) but at the same time, if you know that I'm still insecure about shit because, you know, you left me for someone else, then maybe, just maybe, if you really want us to work out, you'd maybe try to make me feel special. Maybe.

And I know, typing all this out, makes her sound bad and makes me sound ridiculous and everything else, and I can't say that if another cute woman came my way, was smart and funny and showed some kind of interest, I wouldn't see where it went. So if there's that, then why am I still trying to work things out after all this time?