In the dream I had convinced her to hang out with me again. Somehow we wound up back at her place, about to watch a very bad movie she had been in. Something about zombies and a pumpkin patch, I don't know.

Her best friend was there. Her best friend was against me being there.

I saw them talking. I went ahead and laid on the floor, waiting for her to unpause the movie.

She came back, unpaused it. She then got on the floor next to me and then moved my arm so she could, I don't know, cuddle up with me.

And when she put her head on my shoulder my heart broke and melt and exploded and a thousand other things and I said, "see? This is home."

She kissed me.

I thought, in my dream, this is everything. She smiled.

The dream went on, got stupid weird (something about riding a camel to find a baby in the underworld) but she was there the entire time.

Waking up has never been harder.

Somewhere, though, in some stupid version of this life, I'm still holding her.