2008-08-02 - 6:33 p.m. I had a dream you were on the phone with me telling me how to make the best Peaches Melba ever. I had a dream a few weeks ago I woke up and, in my post-sleep haze, dialed your number. You answered and I said "come eat lunch with me." You said "no." I said "come on. It'll be completely platonic and I can give you three reasons to do it." You said "What are they?" I said "1) You're going to get hungry today and eat anyway. 2) You'll get a free meal out of it. 3) You want to be around my completely intriguing personality just to see what I say next." There are times when I feel like I've let your memory go. I am happy with where I am, whom I'm with. She is amazing, makes me laugh, and I get through nights at work thinking that, in just a few hours, I can go home to her, curl up next to her in bed. It's the best thought in the world. There are times I feel like you are five years in the past, where you should probably be, and then there are times where I know you're not. Where I wake up from a dream about you. Where I hear a song and I remember listening to it with you in that last car ride before Arizona, with Keith and Becka. Holding your hand as Keith drove crazy down dark roads. Where I remember standing in the slow falling snow that Christmas vacation you came back, the last time I saw you, as I was walking back to my car and grabbed me. In my mind, in my dreams, I cheat on Kelly with your memory. I don't know what to do. previous - next