She is telling me things I really want to believe, but am scared to believe because other people have told me them. Other people... other people have said those things, and they're no longer around.

As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever really mentioned this here, but near the end of the relationship with Amy I was pretty sure she was going to hook up with new best friend. And yeah, she pretty much has.

Really, they deserve each other, and I deserved better. I can see, and say, that now. I'm telling this new girl about different things that happened near the end of the relationship, and this new girl is looking at me and I can tell that she doesn't understand why I put up with it, that what I thought was fucking common courtesy really was and is fucking common courtesy.

"People change," is what Amy told me when she told me she was with this idiot. And I said yeah, they sure do.
Especially seeing as how Amy swore up and down they weren't her type, nothing would ever happen, blahblahblah.

And you know, I think the only reason anything is happening between the two of them boils down to this:

A) Amy needs attention and new best fuck-buddy or whatever gives her plenty of attention.

B) Fuck-buddy is "Christian" just like Amy.

Really, that's all she needs, I think. Attention and a christian.

And I am angry and bitter about another situation, but I need to just fucking swallow it and fucking slice everything off. Birmingham pretty much just sucks now, there are very few redeeming qualities about it, and the qualities that do redeem it have absolutely nothing to do with Amy, and that is horrible.

I miss the dog. I fucking really miss the dog.

But then there's Kelly. And if I was to be completely honest right here, if I was to completely open up myself and admit something, it would be this: she's the closest thing to a "the one" yet, so far, thusly, et blahblah.
I was scared with Emily, because the way I felt was really intense. There were always signs with Amy, which I should have paid attention to. The fucking moment she threw Grover off the bed? That should've ended it right there.

But Kelly... I brought Grover over to her house last night, as a test, and she was excited to see him. She took him from me and as we sat and watched a movie she held him.

She's just so perfect in so many ways and I'm scared to death because she says she wants to be with me, and I'm afraid I'm going crazy and believing her and then, three months down the road she'll meet new "best friends" and will abandon me and I'll try to work things out but be an asshole by asking her to, you know, not hang out with people I don't like.