Driving in the rain makes me think about lost loves, as much as I really hate that term.
Especially on nights like tonight, when it's cold and raining hard and you're the only car in your lane but there are tons of cars coming at you.
It makes me wish I had someone there with me.
Or someone to drive through all that rain and all that cold and all that quietness except for the cd playing making love music.
The kind of rain where, if you're lucky enough to be with someone you care deeply for, you drop them off at the front door, as much as she says no, as much as she says she'll feel bad if you walk in the rain alone, but she does it anyway because you're stubborn and insist on it. The kind of rain where you walk through it, to meet her inside the doorway, and she's dry and smiling and beautiful and you're soaked to the bone but just seeing her is worth it. Just having her reach out and brush your wet hair back off your face. Worth it.
I guess it would be more convient for everyone if I just got an umbrella.

I miss the way a soft tshirt would fall on her body. The way her stomach felt through it. The heat against my cheek through the cotton. And there are times where I think I must have imagined all of this, there's no way she grabbed me the way she did or pushed me the way she did or looked at me and smile that way.
There can't have been.
Because if there had been, I've lost one of the greatest things in the world.

But maybe there are second chances somewhere out there. Maybe my great luck will pull through on this one for me.