A) Apparently now some kind of "Homeland Security" thing thinks that now not only do I need to have a plan for zombies and rats, I've also got to make some kind of plan for "terrorist attacks." When did this happen? Where have I been?

I'm just going to substitute "terrorist" in for "zombies" in my plans because I really don't have all the time in the world.

B) But, uh, I have time for this: a training unicycle, the basics, would only cost me anywhere from 110 to 150.
However, if I go sensible (but me, sensible? ha!) I can get a unicycle with stuff like helmets and knee pads and "advice" for only 150 to 200 or so.

So really, there's no reason for me not to do this. I mean, if the "government" can stop telling me what I should "do."