2006-01-22 - 11:31 p.m. I went back and reread some of my old old stuff, and god damn I was one cocky son of a bitch. But, when I look back at myself, and when I look at myself now, man. I really have a reason to be, if I'm going to be honest. I'm pretty hot. I mean, really, with eyes the color of pond scum? And the ability to easily lift, what? Ten, twelve pounds? With one hand? C'mon. Also I can dance, but I don't. Because me dancing? Please. It brings all the ladies to the house. Just like her milkshake brings them to the yard. How in the world did I forget all of this? More importantly: how did all of you people let me forget all that? You know what happened today? No, of course you don't, that's why I'm going to tell you: My parent's patio was covered with ice this morning. I went outside and smiled, and the thing just went up in steam. Why? Because I am hot. And hot and ice equals something to do with chemisty, I don't know. But then it started to rain and so I had to go inside because I am made of sugar and sugar clumps when wet. previous - next