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2006-01-19 - 8:05 p.m.

I got the kick to the ass I needed today. Tonight. Toniday.
I could almost dance. It is small and little, but I've come to realize that sometimes all you need are the small little things.
So it makes me smile.
And it makes me realize exactly where I need to go with my life.
I want to be able to look someone in the eye unabashed with everything I've done. And there are things I can say, proudly, that I am and that I have done.
Right now, though, living with my parents doesn't gain me any points.
Although that was a spur-of-the-moment unthought-about gut-check reaction.
That will, change, and I will get my own apartment with my own sofa and my own bookcase and a table where I toss my mail and a chair where I toss my jacket. And a dog that jumps.
And the other thing I'm not that excited about is my job, although it's really nothing to be ashamed about. I'm moving up the ladder, quickly, of the number two retail chain in the world. I am good at my job, and once I get high enough with them I'm fairly guarenteed a management job anywhere I go.
And there are other people who, when they hear what I do, get kind of excited about the place I work. So it's more that I need to become comfortable with it. It's a good company, good pay, good benefits.
So I'm going to apply some other places. Get going on doing something I feel makes a damn difference somewhere.
And I need to get back in shape. I'm in the worst shape of my life ever, and so that's just silly. It won't take much, if my body still has the metabolism it once did, just actually getting up and going, which I can do.
So this year?
This is year is all about me. This year will be all kinds of crazy wonderful and settling and maybe perfect.
Or I'm putting the cart before the horse, but hell, at least there's a cart this time.

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