| 2006-01-13
- 6:46 a.m. Part of me is scared of moving on to this new phase of my life. And I know I need to do it, so it sometimes tips into being not so much scared as stupid excited. I'm looking at some career paths right now that seem kind of highly possible for me. Something I can finally do and not be ashamed of saying. Something I can finally do and the girl, whomever she may be, won't be ashamed of. Managing in retail isn't bad, I'll clarify that. It's not bad, I enjoy it, and I'm pretty damn good at it. But it's not important, you know? It doesn't make things better. I can apply for some state positions soon, some social work positions. Maybe even teaching, if I feel like it. Places where I know I'll be needed, places where I know I'll be damn good at. I just have to get off my ass and actually do it. And with that, with a career that will actually lead somewhere and make me feel proud, with that will come everything else I need right now. My own place. My start at being a real, self-reliant adult. And, eventually, in all of that somewhere will come love again. Either with Amy, or without. It's raining right now. Pretty hard. Thundering and lightning. Not the kind of weather to go out and make life changes. The kind of weather to be with someone. But maybe today will be the day. The day I actually get off my ass and start applying for something meaningful. Start applying and start figuring out where to go. |
