What it really comes down to this, I guess, is this:

I've done the committed relationship. I can do the long term thing standing on my head, thirsty. It's what I'm pretty much made to do. If God created me, he created me while saying, "This kid right here? This kid will be all up on the marriage thing."

Because, yeah. That's me. That's me buying a house and you people have absolutely no idea how much I'm honestly looking forward to having my own fucking gutters to clean.
I want that so badly, you know? I want to have love and commitment and the knowledge that that woman wants nothing else but me, needs for nothing because I'm there.

I've done it, you know? Gave everything I thought I had. Been in two relationships that have gone over a year.

I don't need to do that anymore. It's so easy for me to just give whatever is left in me. I can't do that anymore, if this has shown me anything, it's that.

I have to start just dating around. I have to just not give but a little, just meet women and leave women and break hearts.

Three, five, ten years down the road, maybe I'll come back to me. Maybe I'll find some amazing woman who chases me down and pins me down and won't let me go. Maybe I'll get my gutters and my kids and a big yard with a lot of dogs.

But I can't aim for it anymore.