12-14-04 - 9:29 p.m. here's the truth: part of me is still holding out for emily. part of me is still waiting for her, waiting for her to say hi to me again, waiting for her back to be bare under my quilt. waiting. but that other part of me? it's struggling to move on. there is amy. and with amy, there are problems. but amy is there. and there are parts of amy that are great, are wonderful. her smiling is still amazing. her laugh, it's great. the way she loves her family, loves her dogs, it continually surprises me. there are parts of her that are infectious to parts of me. but she's not emily. and i've got to realize that, every day. i've got to not compare them. i've got to just focus on amy, on everything, on the past and the drugs and the violence she turns in on herself. everything, good and bad and beautiful. until the cycle ends. at least. previous - next