in my dream, last night, were all the women i've loved, in one big mix.

i was watching a movie with kim, and i started touching her. touching her neck and shoulder. and she didn't stop me.

i never kissed her or anything, though i wanted to, because she was still dating someone else.

and i knew i shouldn't be touching her because, you know, she was still dating someone else. but she didn't stop me.

and my chest was tightening because i loved her.

and then her boyfriend walked in, turned around, and walked out. kim started getting upset and i told her i'd handle it, don't worry about it.

i set up this huge thing with people i worked with (i worked in a vet's office with kim, i think) and we made it look like nothing was going on between kim and i, we were just practicing some kind of medical procedure.

and i didnt want to do this, because i wanted kim myself, but i had to because it was what would make kim happy.

i wish i had done more of this in my waking life.

her boyfriend came back and i left to talk to little girls, i think i was interviewing them, and there was a bear cub i was playing with.

and then there was a woman, and i don't remember what exactly she looked like, but i knew i loved her and i knew she was thinking of giving me a second chance, and in my head, or as i was talking to someone, i heard myself call this woman emily.

bah, i don't know. i don't know. and then, yesterday, the girl emails me and tells me i'm full of love.

i miss her.

also i was woken up by a friend calling me. she was calling from my old work asking me to come back for one day for a competition. everyone was boasting about how they could outsell everyone else, and she, i guess, told them that if i was with her, we could kick their asses (everyone else was pairing up, too) and she talked it over with the boss and the boss said it would be cool if i came back and did it for a day.

i was asleep when she told me about it, so i kind of agreed, but she's going to call me back once i've been awake to think about it for a bit.