she wrote me an email.

we talked some more.

i miss her. and she doesn't believe things would be different if she was here, but they would be.

i haven't been completely divulgent with her about kim because i know she doesn't really like me talking about her.

so when i do talk about her, the little bits i add about how kim's just... weird... that's all she hears.

she doesn't hear about how i have little to no respect for kim now. she doesn't hear other stuff.

and emily told me she's tired of me hurting because of what kim does, she's tired of this and tired of that.

i feel really bad about a lot of stuff because i didnt realize how it was impacting emily.

and it made me a little angry.

and so yesterday i worked with kim.

and things were different. i think kim felt it, a little bit, but because kim is kim and doesn't ask me anything about my life, she tried being cute to get me to stop giving her the cold shoulder.

but it didnt work.

and so she got angry at me at one point. and i got angry right back.

and it didn't work.

and she never once asked me what was wrong.

but that's kim. and i don't know why i expect anything different from her.

and so emily and i, i think we're okay. emily feels bad about what she said, she thinks she was bashing me, i feel bad because she was being honest with me.

but things are going on.

which is more than i deserve.