so i left. it was late, but i wanted to be around people i didnt know.

i went to the airport. i sat where two planes were arriving at the same time.

there was a 11 or 12 year old girl running around. i dont know if she was seeing an uncle or a cousin or a friend of the familys, but whenever that man came out she ran.

hugged him and he hugged her back. talked to her parents.

being in an airport made me want to leave.

i dont know that if i had money on me i wouldn't have gone somewhere.

if it had been a bus station, i would have been headed out.

south, maybe. or east.

not west.

northeast, possibly.

boston. the carolinas. virginia.

i think im still frustrated. but its flat lined, now. im not crashing or soaring, just moving straight ahead.

could mean im dead, yes.

but it could mean im at peace.

one last comment on the kat thing:

i called her last night. she said she'd call me back. she didnt. i called her this afternoon, giving it one last shot. she asked if i could call her back, i told her she had to call me back, she said she would. she didnt.

so that is that.

i give up.