here we go. something completely different. first, let me say that i did see ms susan today. it was great. we talked for a while, told her to tell her daughter to give me a call.

im thirsty, but theres nothing to drink in this place. im tempted to borrow a car and drive and get me something to drink.

i woke up with my back feelin funny. went all day with it feelin funny. now im resting it on a heating pad. its feeling better.

she becomes like jelly in my hands.

you know, i could be out camping right now. camping after a good day of hiking. being outside. making people laugh. and feeling completely out of place because people would be coupled. but i would be outside.

and cold.

but outside.

i dont believe i could ever be with someone who didnt like the outdoors. someone who freaked out with bugs. someone allergic to grass.

i want to be able to go out to the backyard with them and just lay on my grandma's old quilt.

i want someone to sit on the counter as i make cookies, chess squares, pies. someone whos already smilin when i wake up. someone who i can lay in the back seat when im not feelin good and reach to the front and just touch.

all this will be found in time. im not too worried about it. nope.